Today I cleaned my house and came across an old photo album full of grade school pictures. I made a batch of brownies and multiple trays of cookies for a local fundraiser. I took my two dogs and my brothers on a walk in the country, and we splashed around in the river for half an hour. When i came home, i went over to watch a movie with my father. Today, I realized that no matter how down I get on myself, no matter how much other people put me down, I’m still alive. My heart is still beating. I’m still here. Today I truly lived.
christ. this knocked the wind out of me. i hope i find this kind of strength.
“Life isn’t supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss. Life isn’t supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it’s comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. When your day’s not perfect, it’s not a failure or a terrible loss. It’s just another day.”—Barbara Sher (via hrrrthrrr)
& i realized something tonight. i realized that you are not mine. & you will not be in the seemingly nearest future. i have to get over the fact that you were mine. because you have your thing and i have mine and i have to stop putting you so high above everyone else because i am not your person anymore. and whether or not i ever am is not up to me anymore. this ones on you. its up to you. the ball is in your court, take it or leave it me.